ADVENTURES + HOPE + SURRENDER

I cannot get enough of my daily adventures with my little family. Yes, we are little but tons of fun!! 

For as long as I could remember, I would day dream about someday having a family of my own. When I married my husband Marc in 2003, I never thought we would have difficulty starting a family. Marc and I were in our 20's and healthy so of course it wasn't even a thought. Just a few months into us being married I became pregnant and was able to carry our daughter till 26 weeks.  Madison Grace was her name and I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a routine check up and we were going to find out the sex of our baby. Exciting, right? Instead of the tech congratulating me on having a girl, he delivered the news that our little girl had no heart beat. Words cannot begin to explain how our world fell apart that day.

For years after I would continue to miscarry and the hopes of having a family seemed out of reach. We finally sought out a specialist to figure out what was going wrong. The doctors and nurses were amazing. We did tests for weeks and couldn't find anything wrong. The one time in life you want the doctor to find something wrong so at least there's hope of being fixed!! 

In our 6th year of marriage I couldn't take it anymore. Marc and I decided that we would take a break and explore the possibility of adopting. Shortly after that we received a call that would change our lives forever but I didn't realize it then. Several months later I became pregnant and knew this was it.  All of my daydreaming would come true. The months past and it was hard. Hard to trust, hard to hope, hard not to give into fear but we held on. 

Levi Saul Rodriguez would be born on February 12, 2011 and change our lives forever. Everyday I get to wake up and witness a walking, talking miracle. We hoped and prayed for years and finally he was here without any medical assistance BUT instead by a promise from God. I have the privilege of teaching, loving, molding this amazing boy that's not perfect but he's ours. 

Everyday I wave a "white flag" to God. I don't wave it outwardly but within my heart. I wave it in surrender that God would have his way in my life. I often have to surrender my way of thinking, what I feel is right for my family and our future.  Being a parent is such an honor and carries a great responsibility. I can't do this without God. I don't want to do it without Him. 

I'm grateful for everyday I have with my family. I thank God for jumping puddles, dancing + singing in the rain, playing in the mud, train rides that freak me out and everything else in between. If you're like me and often try to do everything in your own strength instead of leaning on God.....WAVE THE WHITE FLAG!!! Learn to take the steps of surrendering to Him and His ways. It's not easy but it's worth it.